the clock is ticking

it will be less than 10 more days to my 20th birthday. geez…I’m not a teenager anymore this year. how fast the world is spinning..

just a publicity from me, my birthday is on 28th of June. I rarely have crowded birthdays, since my birthday happens in summer holidays. well, that thing won’t make me sad actually, but I just wonder if this year birthday would be different.

 

frankly saying, I will have a birthday this year in a place in Garut, West Java, due to the International forum I join. It would be in ‘live-in’ programme, where I think we (all the participants) will be living in local’s house for a night or two. I don’t know wheter I’ll enjoy it or happy about it, but since it’s a new thing for me, I think it’s worth trying

 

what do I think in this year’s birthday beside I’m not a teenager anymore? well….. I don’t know. I’m still a kid trying to grow up and eager to taste a little bit of the world in life, I am still me, the person who have this big dream to travel around the world, to find that the world is amusing, and the person who are able to forgot important things yet memorize little unimportant ones.

 

 yes, the clock is ticking. So many thing I have been experienced all of my life now, yet so many things I need to learn more. I still want to improve my English both oral and writing, I want to learn new fun languages, I want to be less-weighted (hahaha…this is most girl’s dream :p), I want these, I want those, until sometimes I don’t know what thing I want the most.

I find myself attracted to a boy, which is normal for a girl my age, yet I don’t feel like it’s the right time to have those kind of chemistry people called love or relationship. I just like to live my life free, taste a bit about that and this, try to understand what human is (and believe me, this subject about human is the most difficult-yet-easy-at-the-same-time knowledge I’m learning).

I lately try to control myself and try to be more Independent.

wait a second, you haven’t been bored about me saying stories about my life, have you? coz this is not the end yet. hahaha…

okay, I thing we need other stories about me other than my hopes and wishes. what thing is the nice one to write here…hum…I wonder if I can have any ideas appear suddenly now…

DING! I know it! how about my worries?? no. I’ve written it a little before…beside, you don’t want to read people complains, do you?

okay… hope and wishes are still the best idea I can think right now.

Lidya, one of my best fella told me this morning, that I look cute with my tube-top and cardigans. what I am trying to say is not the compliment I received from her (although it made me smile ^^), but how a small compliment, rather than harsh-words-jokes would change your day.

here it is, many people, especially at my campus – find theirselves happiness when they found something weird, or bad from some people just to make theirseleves look better. I experienced it myself. some people think that it’s fun to play me (not with me). they throw me sometimes harsh words, silly things that makes other smile and laughs. I sometime enjoy it myself, I admit, because I found it fun. but sometime means not everytime.

they just don’t know how to stop their saying, that they think their jokes is still funny. bleh, it just hurt me sometime, you know.

imagine if they can change their harsh joke with positive words. i don’t expect compliments, just nice words to greet me and make me feel as if I am their friends (if they think that I am), I bet it would change  many things.

well, other than that I have no problems. I mean, they ARE my friends. I should aceept their goods and bad, shouldn’t I? but I wonder if they can put it less than before…hehe..

and those thing actually given me lessons, a lot. I now know how to control myself better, how to be more patience, how to handle harsh words, and pretend to be deaf if I feel their words is hurting me.

well, I think I’ve written scattered things above. but it just the way things I want to write today…

happy waiting for the upcoming bday!

-amelia-