pelarian dari kenyataan

tumben-tumbennya hari ini pengen bikin blog pake bahasa Indonesia (gaya bener mentang2 seringnya pake bahasa inggris..HAHA)

dari kemaren sbenernya uda gatel pengen nulis blog lagi setelah sekian lama, dari kritisi TPS pemilu dan kekurangannya, kegiatan kampus yang sukses, seminar internasional yang diikutin, de el el. NAMUN….males banget boo….

apalagi kalo ditambah ingatan ternyata ada 10 (bukan 7 seperti perkiraan seblumnya) tugas yang mesti dikerjain dari kampus. *OUCH!* akhirnya gw menyerah. gw melarikan diri! gw butuh refreshing! gw nulis blog. haha…

seperti kata edna di seminar kemaren, nulis blog merupakan salah satu sarana untuk melarikan diri. untuk tulisan kali ini, dari pada nulis yang berat2, lebih ke curhat colongan ah..

kemalasan sedang mencoba menggerogoti semangat saya. seminggu yang lalu nyelesaiin short paper yang cuma 5-6 halaman aj baru beres hari ini.

daripada susah, lebih karena perhatian teralihkan mini games sama facebook si…hahaha….memang, facebook itu RACUN DUNIA. niat cuma 5 menit, bertambah jadi 1 jam,  lalu 2 jam, lalu setengah hari….arrghh…. butuh pengendalian diri yang lebih lagi….:p

UAS tinggal seminggu lagi,  dan kmaren dapet kabar 2 paper tugas akan dialihfungsikan jadi take-home test aja buat uas! di satu sisi, seneng karena gak mesti blajr kebut smalam, di sisi lain, ngedumel gara2 bakal butuh minimal 2-3 hari buat beresin 1 ujian aj…*trus maunya gw apa dong kalo gitu??*

gw sebenernya sedang bersemangat…tapi bukan buat bikin paper n tugas2, melainkan buat selesaiin bacaan! bukan bacaan bahan2 kuliah, tapi novel2 sama buku mata-mata yang belom terselesaikan hingga saat ini! tapi menyadari adanya tanggung jawab yang belom selesai, jadinya konsentrasi terpecah2 jadi beberapa bagian nii… butuh dorongan besar! haha..

-butuh.obat.penawar.dari facebook.dan.sejenisnya.-

amel

my other lense hunt

so, this happen to be other files i have not been uploaded yet until now…

walking around somewhere in the state made me feel a bit sentimental, and silly…duh..lolz, i happened to caused some of ‘conversations forum’ where i was the object, but most hard-feelings had been erased from my heart when i edited these pictures of all of us together and remember how we had quite a memorable experiences back there

all of my edited pictures are dedicated for the whole team, including Adi, which happen to stay in Indonesia because of Visa stuff.

guys, i’ll missed that moment

random pictures i’ve taken

these some random pictures i’ve taken when having my trip to USA. just tried to edit those. give me ur comments, i’d appreciate it . thanks

steppin’ out for HNMUN

i’ll put more personal thoughts in this writing, expect nothing spectacular, kay?

like some of u may have guess my biggest goal of life is to take over the world (read: traveling), i’m happy to joined this Model UN at Harvard univ (well, it wasn’t exactly at the harvard, it was in Boston Park Plaza hotel tho’).

my university’s team spent at least 2 weeks at the land of freedom. we visited NY then DC then went to the conference.

if u ask me, how was the trip? will answer: FAB, duh! lolz

first thing to acknowledge is that this is my first experience steppin’ out from the lovely Indonesia, and the next thing is that i have always wanted to feel the snow!

dun’ gimme that look! sounds norak, i know, but this is one of my reached goal! so, whatever

hahaha…thankfuly went there at the end of winter, at least there were snow around

despite all the trip to liberty, cheap-shops (sale season, babe! lolz), the cold, and all chinese restaurants (the only place we found rice): THE ASSEMBLY WENT WELL DONE. thanks to the committee!

the team, in front of the capitol Hill

i mean, i got this DISEC room, and yes, contributed only small part to the assembly. beside this is my debute on any international MUN, i love to observe more and gaining experience rather than having ambition to win some trophies (but i was serious at the assembly!)

this big committee was…..BIG. u know, because of the vast participants, and (i have to admit), boring topic that was chosen (sorry, still love Banyamulenge more), and many repetitive nonsense from some delegates, i felt bored….lolz, blame it on me, but at least i joined the session diligently

the thing i’ve learnt about joining Harvard National MUN was that: the session went FAST. really…really fast! it’s just the second day and everyone seemed ready with their working papers and draft resolutions! (i always thought they made it before comin’ to the assembly tho’), and in some smaller committees, a friend told me the flow went intense. whatever she meant

have to admit, having english as ur second language was a burden, need to work more on the fluency (and may be to be fast thinking too)

indonesian’s student mostly still slow. not all, but generally. the culture of us is slow…hahaha..but being slow leads nowhere, so we better be hurry now.

indo’s student also still, generally, lazy to read books not to mention we also lack on writing and also critical thinking. we are not independent (okay, not all, but generally, coz i’m not. hahaha…). i think joining HNMUN, again, open my eyes study more on how students (especially in USA) arrange how they study and party. *wink wink*

oh yeah, sometime i also realized, if people recognized u were from outside the country, and not comin’ from europe… they tend to looked down u, unless u proof urself u were worth more than what they thought about u. got this by experienced. not quite insulted nor offended, but just…*whut da??* feelin’…hahaha

but even I still stunned when my head delegate from African Union Committee got this OUTSTANDING DELEGATE!

don’t compare our institution with some other famous ones like yale, west-point, pennsylvania, etc.  don’t even compare us to other US’s universities that have joined this annualy since decades ago. it wasn’t comparable.

the thing is, this award made us feel worth to spend thousands of dollars to come accross the globe to attend the assembly. it was pain in the arse for arranging our trip (thx to Raisa, Katrin, Tony and those who helped arranging our lovely trip), but by this award: we feel HAPPY.

anyway, had lovely trip. and this journey to USA proven me that i love my Indonesia with all its lack ness more than any country could give. and this trip encourage me to travel more crossing the globe. thinking about Asia (near the Europe, tho) for the next destination. but still collecting the guts, and the money. hehe…

i know u love me XOXO,

amel

crying over small things

what is small and what is big? the definitions would be so subjective that i don’t actually put that in certain meaning.

today, i felt sad over small thing. about something that somebody might actually think that i’m such a melancholic person.

i felt a bit rejected when i my friends didn’t want to be in a same team with me, with various reasons like they already have their team, and it’s not necessary to make a team yet.

whatever the reasons were, i was still feeling a bit rejected, and yes, disappointed at them. why so? because (egoistically) i think they want to be with me since i think i am their friends.

but hey, the story isn’t finished yet, so don’t make a conclusion now.

after taking a deep breath and long deep thinking, it is still their right to chose whoever they wanna be with in a team, either with or without me. i mean, ur life is not only about some friends around your circle of life, there are many potential friends waiting to be found out there. maybe if i’m trying to find another people, i could find brand new friends and add it to my inventory ^^

but yeah, it might won’t be that easy, since many has already created their peers. and to enter a peer is not as simple as asking money to your parents.

now? i am still feeling rejected because i think i HAVE NOT BECOME a good friend of theirs. but the problem won’t be solved just by me becoming this sensitive. anything happen, the show must still go on, right?

and be mad won’t do good anyway. so, instead of killing my heart slowly only thinking why they don’t want to be with me, i think i should re-analyze about how am i doing in friendship that makes me this pity ;p

and hopefuly, in the end, i could be better and happy

adios,

amel

Steve Jobs’ 2005 Stanford Commencement Address

he ain’t has any bachelor degree, he never finished his study, but he’s the founder of Pixar animation and also Mac, and now becoming one of the excecutive boards of the company.

to dream and never give up is his theme for this speech. who will believe that nobody like he used to be would be somebody big like this?

he stated he didn’t want to finished his study because he found nothing useful for him in real world to be applied in the study he took. but he kept going on some classes he loved, as a non-student spectator. he learned many things that become his passion in the next decade of his life

eventhough he succeed with his Mac project, because of some reasons, he’d been kicked out from the company he started with his own hand. he then became the founder of animation company, Pixar. the first job was disney movie ‘Toy’s Story’ which became a big boom at that time. the funny thing was, he’d been hire again in his previous company after those being mergered.

anyway, his speech reminds me to keep dreaming all the time, because to dream is the first step of being succeed. but that’s not enough, work hard and never give up contributes to the succeed you shall gain from you work. never be afraid to fail, even though i know it’s suck.

inspiring and rejuvenating. ^^

4 somethings

ini sih benernya dapet di tag dari ibu BiBi doang…ahhahaa…tapi karena lagi gak ada kerjaan ribet boleh juga lah ya….:p

siang2 gini buat yang gak puasa sebenarnya pengen diisi dengan kgiatan yang lebih guna dari s

 

Empat kerjaan?

1.[mestinya] membaca bahan2 bacaan semester 5 yang bejibun itu, sambil dengan serius ngeringkasin teori satu-satu sampe memahami….namun….ntar aj lah ya….(penyakit lama kambuhan nih….MALAS)

2. ngirim ulang kerjaan ke atasan. katanya imel yang dulu gak nyampe. bingung kan gw? padahal ngirim uda dari akhir agustus pula….kena marah sih sepertinya. dimana sih emang letak permasalahannya? gw curiga tuh imel nyasar ke spam folder…

3. bersiap-siap buat maen bulutangkis di sebelah rumah sakit paru. olahraga itu sehat, bung!

4. browsing internet ga jelas sambil ngecekkin public profiles sembari kirim kerjaan…..ngantuk sih, benernya lebih pengen tidur siang…lol

Empat tempat tinggal?

ada lebih sih kayaknya, tapi yang ingatannya paling ngebekas aja ya, maklum de, pindah2 mulu sih…

1. Rumah di daerah Sunter Agung, Jak-Ut. di sebelahnya ada rumah orang India, gede gitu. maklum de, daerah orang keturunan India banyak tinggal sih….pas di depan jalan, banyak debu, tapi enaknya di halaman depan n blakang, tumbuh pohon mangga sama belimbing yang aduhe kalo uda musimnya…yum!

2. Rumah dinas di Bali. di dalem hotel ***, full service. hakhakhak..tempat tinggal paling nyaman di dalam ingatan. mau berenang sama nge-gym, tinggal ngesot doang, gratis pula :p. emang mental oportunis dah…pokoknya yg paling bikin seneng kalo uda minta es krim ke dapur hotel, dikasihnya yang ember literan….:D

3. Rumah di Komplek B****G di Bali. dalam rangka menyelesaikan pendidikan, akhirnya extent deh di bali, tinggal di dalam komplek. asiknya, ke skolah tinggal ngesot doang….laper, tinggal makan di rumah. duit jajan bisa sangat dihemat buat beli macem2

4. Rumah di daerah Taman Mini. jauh ye…..benernya abis dari sunter pindahnya ke sini dulu baru ke bali, cuma abis dari bali balik lagi ke rumah yang ‘terlantar’ ini. enaknya apa ya? gara2 masih ada sawah kali di belakangnya. sepi dan nyaman kalo doyan men-autis-kan diri. cuma agak jauh dari mana2 sih…

Empat film yang udah ditonton 100x?

gila…..se addict-nya gw sama film, ga sgitunya juga sampe 100x nonton, yang ada eneg, bukannya demen lagi…

tapi yang mungkinakan sampe pada kategori itu adalah film2 yang romantic-comedy/drama. abis biasanya ceritanya gak berat dan asik buat ditonton…haha..emang udah dasar demen doang sih..

Empat TV show favorit?

1. OOOOOOOOprah……show. talk show yang jarang bikin bosen. ever. apalagi kalo uda episode bagi2 hadiah ato make over…lol

2. Berita di metro TV ato RCTI. penghibur mata kalo stasiun lainnya uda diisi tayangan gak jelas yang bikin stres mulu

3. HBO, Cinemax, dan saluran film tv kabel lainnya. balik lagi ke alasan di atas.

4. antara MTV dan V channel. yah, pilihan terakhir buat up date lagu2 baru lah..

Empat makanan favorit?

pada intinya, gw gak bisa spesifikin jenis makanannya, karena gw doyan makan. jadi hasil dibawah adalah kisaran jenis makanan yang gw doyan dan bisa bikin nagih

1. ITALIAN. dari spaghetti sampa pizza dan embel2 yang lainnya…gw demen banget.:D

2. masakan Indonesia. soalnya bumbu2nya nancep dan nendang di lidah! sate, B*** panggang, masakan padang, rica2, ayam kalasan, rujak kacang…aduh….jadi laper ya bayanginnya

3. ice cream! sama gelato akhir2 ini juga suka sih….seger…:p

4. gak tau lagi makanan apa….uda terangkum diatas sih…pudding dan kue coklat kali ya…abis selain itu, gw jarang suka makanan manis sih….^^

Empat situs favorit?

1. facebook. udah jadi bagian hidup kayaknya

2. wordpress.com -> yang ini bagian dari hobi nulis

3. friendster, membosankan ato gak, kolega dan temen2 lama gw masih nyantol disini. fungsi public profiles bukan buat seneng2 dan maen2 doang kan….buat bisnis dan bangun koneksi juga..lol

4. gak ada web khusus sih…

Empat target berikutnya?

 

 1. Sunny

2. Regi

 sisanya kagak ada…biasa, agak autis jadi jarang punya teman…lol

 

yah…menunggu waktu buat maen bultang entar sore ternyata lama juga ya…..eh eh, ada yang tau beli kolak enak dan murah sekitaran cimbeleuit dimana gak? bulan puasa gini biasanya lagi pada bejibun noh..

my heavy semester

the beginning of my third year of university has been going for about 1.5 months. so far, so busy. i’m a bit afraid i can’t conduct and do things right, since so many schedules and things i have to fulfilled, but the time is so little.

i didn’t plan to take so many activities this semester, but somehow without realizing, i have made myself busy over the last month. classes, IREC, debate club, part time job, essays, and some other stuff. i wonder how i can do all things well and fully responsible about those.

and i’m in a tight-condition of money. i’ve spent at least more than 200.000 rupiah for books and literatures i have to read. those made me broke.

i wonder how i can pass this semester smooth. it’s not an easy job. but hell yea, it might worth try.

i recall something missing from my heart lately. the feeling of freedom and happy. i’m not sad, but suddenly in such a time, my mind could conduct sumthin lonely from my life. that’s how i become melancholy, like the time i wrote my last blog about the beatle’s song.

i’m not a type who loves to write all-political-economic-international-analysis in my blog and journal. those i want to write come from my mind. no matter how stupid or ridiculous it might be, that is what my honest mind told me.

actually i don’t really realize what i’m writing now. my head feels dizzy i can’t concentrate on most things.

and i’m a bit fed up with all routines i’ve done lately. need some refreshments. need some fresh air. need sumthin new. need money. lol

i can’t blame on people, since the problem came from me. i’m the one who are feeling like this.

owh…Shoot. i don’t know what i want to write anymore.

so long, farewell, auf wiedersehn (is that rite?) goodbye…

-me-

in my life – the beatles

 

There are places I’ll remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I’ve loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I’ll never ever lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more

Though I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
In my life I love you more

—————————————————————————–

the first time i heard this song, i almost fell my tears.

the lyric is just so deep and full of memories, that anyone heard that for the first time, would suddenly feel a bit melancholy.

“Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain“

not everything have to be together all the time. there is a beginning, as well as an end. something eternal does not mean something will make you happier. the thing that left, that is the pieces of memory you can remind still.

“For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more“

some old memories are still something compared to our new life. but it doesn’t change the fact which new path we have already chosen ourselves. memories are something behind,  although we need times to stop, recall, and think about that memories over the times.

i have no idea what kind of situation made a person can write such sad yet brilliant lyrics of all time like this. it contains various feelings and emotions that can’t be explained well even by the best linguist or even Shakespear (ok, gw uda mulai agak lebay), but the thing that i want to enhance this time in the writing, how the beatles can move the fans emotion without exagurating their songs arrangments. easily with just stunning melodies and brilliant words.

viva the beatles!

pemuda dan peran

sekali merdeka tetap merdeka!

 

sebentar lagi udah detik2 menjelang 17 Agustus. detik-detik menjelang perayaan kemerdekaan. barusan (23.00red) gw baru balik beli roti di pak mus, terus spanjang jalan Bukit Jarian ngeliat betapa rame hiasan bertebaran. sepertinya bsok bakal jadi hari pesta rakyat buat masyarakat sekitar sini.

terlepas dari itu, sebenernya barusan aja gw kepikiran buat merenungkan, apa aja sih yang udah gw buat sepanjang hidup gw sebagai warga Indonesia untuk menghormati kemerdekaan Indonesia setiap tahunnya?

ato kalo mau lebih umum, perbuatan temen2 seumuran deh (alias pemuda ato yang ngerasa dirinya masih muda), buat mengisi kemerdekaan?

mungkin kedengerannya klise ya pertanyaan diatas, tapi masih relevan lo buat dipertanyakan sekarng.

jujur aja, gw sangat mencintai Indonesia. gw cinta sama buadayanya, tanahnya, makanannya, orang2nya, cuacanya, dan banyak hal lainnya. mungkin ini juga gak terlepas dari tumbuh kembangnya gw di beberapa daerah di Indonesia. bukannya sok nasionalis ato apa, tapi Indonesia ini emang negara yang patut dibanggakan, terlepas dari masalah2 yang ada.

gw bukan klompok2 ‘berseragam’ yang kadang nasionalismenya kagak kira2. banyak kok maslaah dan kebobrokan bangsa yang memang patut diakui menjadi ‘cacat’ besar yang masih merongrong dalam kurun waktu puluhan tahun ini, tapi bukan berarti gak ada apapun yang bisa dibanggakn dari negara ini.

gw suka sedih deh, banyak banget pemuda yang dengan seenaknya ngomong bahwa indonesia sux, bakal pindah kewarganegaraan karena gak bisa kasih fasilitas memadai, de el el.

pindah kewarganegaraan tentu pilihan hidup masing2 dan itu bukan suatu dosa. cuma kalo alesannya karena mereka gak dapet sesuatu dari negara ini lantas pengen ganti kewarganegaraan, gw cuma bisa ngelus dada.

pemikiran yang menurut gw egois. seharusnya kta2 juga bisa menempatkan posisi diri di pemerintah untuk dapat memahami bagaimana sulitnya mengurus bangsa besar yang banyak penduduknya ini. dengan dana yang sedikit, jangankan fasilitas murah ato yang mentereng2 kayak di negara maju lain, bisa ngasih makan penduduk aja uda suatu keberhasilan yang mengagumkan.

asumsi kasar gw ya, meskipun pemerintahan Indonesia itu bersih semua 100% dari tindak KKN, untuk menyejahterakan rakyat yg segini banyak juga bukan pe-er yang gampang, perlu waktu bertahun-tahun rasanya.

ditambah lagi, dengan mental2 masyarakat yang manja. begini, memang banyak orang yang butuh dibantu secara tunai ataupun secara modal oleh pemerintah karena mereka benar2 tidak mampu dan butuh bantuan, tapi ternyata ada aja orang yang cari2 kesempatan dan aji mumpung merongrong pemerintah buat ngasih mereka bantuan juga. padahal mereka masih bisa bekerja dan menghasilkan uang yang lumayan.

gak usah jauh2, liat aja pengamen2 di jalan sama pengemis2. sudah menjadi rahasia umum, bahwa mereka2 yang ngemis dan ngamen itu sebenarnya kerja kyak gitu bukan karena gak mampu, tapi karena MALAS. MALAS sekolah lah, MALAS cari kerja laen yang bikin cape dengan penghasilan lebih sedikit lah, dan MALAS2 lainnya. ntar kalo uda dicek ke rumahnya mereka aja, hape bisa 3 biji, berbagai mcam provider tersedia dengan pulsa lumayan di dalamnya.

pernah nih suatu kali, di daerah salman ITB, gw makan siomay siang2. eh, ada pengemis minta2, gak gw kasih duit kan, terus dy baru mau jalan pergi, tiba2 HAPE-nya bunyi. anjir, uda gitu dy buru2 menjauh lantas menjawab telfon dengan kata2 “eh, ntar dulu ya gw lagi KERJA“. ampun dah.

list not-to-do things

keliatan kan maslah bangsa ini sebenarnya apa? MALAS. intinya ya MALAS. korupsi terjadi karena MALAS bekerja keras. MENCONTEK massal terjadi karena MALAS berpikir. udah gitu karena udah jadi kebiasaan, orang2 teteup aja merasa gak ada yang salah dan terus menjalani hidup. udah membudaya, dan bahaya buat kelangsungan hidup bangsa.

ok…lama2 gw jadi agak nglantur nulisnya. kita balik ke peran pemuda buat isi kemerdekaan.

jadi gini ya para pembaca, ide tulisan gw ini tercetus ketika kemarin gw rapat bersama A dan O untuk membahas suatu hal. gw asumsikan si O tidak bangga tinggal di Indonesia karena lack of facilities dan banyak masalahnya. gw dan si A berusaha meyakinkan dy, kalo bukan kita, siapa lagi?

iya, siapa lagi yang bisa diandelin buat menyelesaikan masalah2 di sini? kan kita ini generasi harapan bangsa, generasi yang diharapkan, jangan menyerah liat maslah di depan mata dong. mungkin banyak orang2 tua merasa pemuda itu idealis karena belom mengenal kerasnya dunia. mungkin aja mereka benar. tapi mereka juga bisa salah. sekrang gmana caranya kita aja buat buktiin ke mereka dan masyarakat indonesia bahwa pemuda itu bisa mengubah bangsa, dan gak hanya hura2.

contoh peran kita di masyarakat gak usah yang gede2 dulu lah. dari yang kecil2 tapi berarti juga. yaitu misalnya, BUANG SAMPAH PADA TEMPATNYA. pasti pada heran deh. tau gak kalian, dengan menjaga kebersihan sekitar kita aja, paling gak buang sampah di tempatnya, kita ini udah membantu pencegahan masalah2 lingkungan dan kesehatan. kita bantu cegah banjir, cegah DBD, dan cegah penyakit musiman di musim ujan kayak sekarang. kalo masalah2 tersebut bisa ditanggulangi hanya dengan sedikit mengubah gaya hidup kita, uang negara tentu akan terhemat, dan tak akan ada uang2 tambahan yang dikucurkan pemerintah buat menyelesaikan masalah2 tersebut. mencegah tentunya lebih baik daripada mengobati bukan?

be honest

ato untuk para pelajar dan mahasiswa, kita bisa berperan juga loh. gak usah sok2 jadi aktivis dulu, coba mulai dari diri sendiri. dengan bersungguh2 akan pendidikan kita (termasuk gak nyontek), kita ini bisa mengubah wajah bangsa (dan juga wajah kita sendiri dalam soal moralitas :p). bener lo, ini bukan boongan…kalo kita bisa karena usaha sendiri, pastinya kita bangga dong. hal ini bisa jadi langkah awal bebas korupsi kedepannya nanti, karena kita udah berusaha untuk jujur pada diri sendiri.

percaya gak percaya, hal2 kecil kita yang jadi kebiasaan turut membentuk perilaku kita di masyarakat. kalo memang bisa di ubah sedikit ke arah lebih baik untk kebaikan diri, bersama, dan bangsa, kenapa kita gak mau?

jangan cuma menuntut negara dan pemerintah ini dan itu. tapi tunjukkin kalo kita2 ini juga bisa memberikan sesuatu ke negara kita yang tercinta ini.

DIRGAHAYU RI ke 63!!

MERDEKA

-amel